Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
