she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
