Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
