You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
