I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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