spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
