cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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