He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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