His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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