Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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