dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
