I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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