is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
