its not stalking. its research.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
