I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
