you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
