Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
