No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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