Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
