he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
