just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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