i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
