There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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