What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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