I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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