Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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