so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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