He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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