just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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