who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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