I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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