i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
