The maid of honor just puked.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
