Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
