so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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