Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
