he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Green mimosas i think yes
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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