im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Please don't give away my fajitas
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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