Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
