Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
