I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
