those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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