Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
