There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
