Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
