look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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