I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
