names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
