Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
