Will you blow on my dice?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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