help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
